Avatar 2: Diamond Earth
by StupidSequel
Summary: Jake has hollowed out Pandora by mining the last of the Unobtainium to use as a gasoline substitute, but the Na'vi are not amused. It all was really just one of Quaritch's schemes. This time, it's actually readable! w00t!


**Avatar 2: Diamond Earth**

Enjoy! (This is NOT a crossover of any sort)

Chapter 1: the only chapter

(Avatar 2 begins with a recap in the form of the entire first film (the extended version that was rereleased in theaters. The whole film, not including this recrap, is about 23 hours long because long equals good. [That's what she said.])

One day all the Avatars on the planet Avatar Land were having a giant frat party and they were listening to crunk core music because there were no more humans on Avatar Land. Well, except for the last airbender (you knew him as Jake Sully from the first film). He had to remain on his espionage mission because the planet wasn't hollowed out cuz it still had some Unobtainium. Jake Sully needed to mine out all the rest of the Unobtainium without being seen because his planet Earth people needed to have alternative fuel. How urgent was it? Well, enough that the gas prices were so high that only the rich could afford one gallon. Also the Earth's temperature was hot enough that the polar ice caps melted. It was that urgent.

Jake Sully was up to the task. Still in his Avatar body he ventured out onto Avatarland in search of the missing Unobtainium. He dug a hole underground and hung in the hole and looked around all over. At the far end of the planet, he could spy some of the Unobtainium. So he let go and fell to the other side and he touched base with the Unobtainium. He was in luck.

"The rest of this Unobtainium should cure global warming. I take it back to Earth now." Jake said to himself. This last airbender took the Unobtainium back to his human body. Jake's human body exited the pod, still paraplegic. He picked up the Unobtainium and transported it 2 his ship that he arrived to Avatar planet in. He started the engine and he was on his way to earth now with the Unobtainium in tow.

Three years later, he was back on earth.

"I found the lots of the Unobtainium, mister Quaritch."

"Good, Mr Sully. You have done well." the big muscle guy who was wearing a tank top replied. Jake reveled in his praise.

As time passed, more and more people were filling up their cars with the Unobtainium instead of the gasoline. Eventually the oil company went out of business. There was much rejoicing.

"My plan to get rich quick is nearly half complete." Quaritch said with an evil laugh and he was rubbing his hands together.

"What plan?" the last airbender asked inquisitively. Quaritch had an awkward look on his face.

"Uh, you weren't supposed to be listening" Quaritch explained without wanting to think of a lie. The last airbender had a hunch that Quaritch was planning something awful. But what? "Well, since you found out the truth I might as well show you something. Come with me." Quaritch beckoned. Jake followed

Quaritch led Jake Sully to a room lots of money and torture devices. "The Avatars will be crawling back to earth claiming what's theirs and be drawn to the signal beam that this room emits. I will then torture them with the torture devices killing them eventually. And you last airbender, will be forced to watch." Quaritch tied up Jake while the Avatars were being drawn in the room one at a time by the signal beam. Jake could not let this happen.

What Quaritch did not count on was that there were so many Avatars that the room with the money was not big enough for all the Avatars. That meant some Avatars would be left outside.

"No fair! This room should be bigger. Since I can't have that, now you get to see my true form." Quaritch yowled. He sported a cape on his back and his teeth became sharp, and he got out a magic wand. "I bet you didn't know that I am a wizard and a vampire. Ahaha!" Jake's eyes popped out of his skull like white face snakes. "Avada Kedavra." Quaritch pointed his wand to a random Avatar. The Avatar exploded like a grape in the microwave.

"I hate you Quaritch!" Jake was mad now. Quaritch pointed his wand at Jake.

"You next, man," Quaritch said in a threatening way. Just as he was about 2 say Avada Kedavra, Jake thought of an idea.

"What's the name of the spell that makes males have babies?"

"That would be Masculi Nursium." Quaritch explained.

"Could you say it a little louder?" the last airbender pleaded.

'"MASCULI NURSIUM," Quaritch yelled. He accidentally cast a spell. Jake's belly began to swell up and next thing you know, he became a baby dispenser.

Eventually he had so many babies that they literally covered the earth. The heat and pressure on the bottom babies caused them to melt and become a huge diamond

"We may not have Unobtainium anymore, but we found a suitable substitute: the diamond. Now we can power our electric toothbrushes." A random Avatar said. The Avatars all began to chip away at the diamond and carried it back to Avatarland. One catch: the humans have no planet to live on now. Thus, all the humans died. Meanwhile all the Avatars got to use the diamond for their electric toothbrushes. Honestly humans are inherently evil. Happy ending, much?


End file.
